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People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.

Brad Williams

Comedian makes the statement that just isn’t true.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Statements True
People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Done Hey People
Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because… they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can’t take it to a dangerous place.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Dangerous Female Honest
Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to – everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Everyone Jokes Want
Now, I’ve gotten to the point in my career, I’m 13 years in, to where I know that I’m funny. I know that I’m good at this.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Careers Knows Years
There are things that I won’t joke about, but it’s not because I don’t think they’re funny or they can’t be made funny. It’s just that they don’t fit my particular skill set.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Apart Haer Joke Skills Thinking
If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, “That joke offended me,” I’m still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Asian Black People
I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It’s a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedy Country People Told
I’m in awe of comics that do things that I can’t do, or haven’t tried doing yet.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Awe Comic Havens Things
It’s very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Confusing People
I don’t know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It’s very confusing to me.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Confusing Knows Opposites
I’m not going to talk too much politics because I’m not smart enough to do that.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Enough Much Smart Too
I’m in awe of comedians that do things that I can’t do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be – hell, Carrot Top. I can’t be Carrot Top. I can’t.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Issues
I’m funny because I’m funny. And there’s more to offer.
BRAD WILLIAMS

More Offers Funny
I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don’t pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Children Fun People
I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That’s the constant. That’s the thing that I’m going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Constant Love Show Television
There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Country People Problem
I hate that when people are like, “Well, all dwarves know each other, right?” And you want to get mad, but you can’t because we do.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Dwarves Hate People
I admire ventriloquists, because I can’t do that. I mean, I might get mistaken for a ventriloquist dummy every now and then, but I can’t do what they do.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Mean might Now Then
I don’t take too many things too seriously.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Many Seriously Things
It’s extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what’s going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Country Educated Extremely Laughing Silly
Every now and then we’re going to fail.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Every Failing Now Then
When a soldier of the night’s watch dies they say, “And now his watch is over.” That’s what they say when a comedian dies. They go, “And now his tour is done.”
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Night Soldier
I try not to be hateful.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Country Hateful People Trying
I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Funny Guy Guy Want
I don’t get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Issues Silly Trying
There is often times when I’m in a bar or after a show, and a woman just grabs my head and shoves it into her cleavage, or grabs my ass, or something like that which – don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining, but it’s just interesting. It’s just interesting that that occurs.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Bar Complaining Interesting

People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.

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People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.

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Popular Authors

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