It’s extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what’s going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That’s the constant. That’s the thing that I’m going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It’s a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
I admire ventriloquists, because I can’t do that. I mean, I might get mistaken for a ventriloquist dummy every now and then, but I can’t do what they do.
I don’t know why you’d go to a comedian and say, “You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets.”
If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
I’m in awe of comedians that do things that I can’t do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be – hell, Carrot Top. I can’t be Carrot Top. I can’t.
When a soldier of the night’s watch dies they say, “And now his watch is over.” That’s what they say when a comedian dies. They go, “And now his tour is done.”
It’s weird when people ask me, “Why are you so nice?” It’s like, “Because that’s just what you should do. You should be kind to people.” It seems really basic, but it’s amazing how many people forget that.
I was a disabled child. So, people made fun of me, don’t pretend like this never happens. But at the same time, I never cried about it. I never got sad about it.
There is often times when I’m in a bar or after a show, and a woman just grabs my head and shoves it into her cleavage, or grabs my ass, or something like that which – don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining, but it’s just interesting. It’s just interesting that that occurs.
