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The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP, they have run out of better ideas.

Boris Johnson

Life isn’t like coursework, baby. It’s one damn essay crisis after another.
BORIS JOHNSON

Crisis Essay Life Oneself
The next Tory leader would have to unify his party and ensure that Britain stood tall in the world.
BORIS JOHNSON

Leadership Tall World
Bring Harry home to Britain-and if you want a site with less rainfall than Rome, with excellent public transport, and strong connections to Harry Potter, I have just the place.
BORIS JOHNSON

Place Public Strong Transport
The meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservatism Meat
London is a fantastic creator of jobs – but many of these jobs are going to people who don’t originate in this country.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Jobs People
Nothing excites compassion, in friend and foe alike, as much as the sight of you ker-splonked on the Tarmac with your propeller buried six feet under.
BORIS JOHNSON

Compassion Excitement Sight
I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never called back. I bet I could make him run around.
BORIS JOHNSON

Him Love Myself Passion Run
This is a super masticated subject, and it is time to spit it out.
BORIS JOHNSON

Scorn Spit Subjects
He is like some sherry-crazed old dowager who has lost the family silver at roulette, and who now decides to double up by betting the house as well.
BORIS JOHNSON

Decision Double Family Himself Lost
I want to win and I want to be in office.
BORIS JOHNSON

Myself Office Win
My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.
BORIS JOHNSON

Mars Olive Pms Trees
The only reason I wouldn’t go to some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump.
BORIS JOHNSON

Myself Reality Reason Risk
Some people play the piano, some do Sudoku, some watch television, some people go out to dinner parties. I write books.
BORIS JOHNSON

Book People Play Watch
My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cake Eat Myself Policy
I cant remember what my line on drugs is. Whats my line on drugs?
BORIS JOHNSON

Drugs Line Myself
My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.
BORIS JOHNSON

Criticism Low Moments Skills Style Talk
David Lloyd George had been to Germany, and been so dazzled by the Führer that he compared him to George Washington. Hitler was a ‘born leader’, declared the befuddled former British Prime Minister.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Hero War
I want you to know that I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.
BORIS JOHNSON

Enemy Myself Rival
My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.
BORIS JOHNSON

Disaster Discover Friendship Myself Opportunity
He thinks of himself as a gigantic keystone in the arch, with all the lesser stones logically induced to support his position. He has a kind of semi-ideology to go with it – a leftish Toryism: imperialist, romantic, but on the side of the working man.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ideology Lesser Logically Position
The Geiger-counter of Olympomania is going to go zoink off the scale.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Olympics People Scales
I’m no communist.I’m a tax cutting Conservative. But I want a capitalism that is fairer to forgotten people.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cutting People Want
But if people want to swim in the Thames, if they want to take their lives into their own hands, then they should be able to do so with all the freedom and exhilaration of our woad-painted ancestors.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ancestor Freedom Hands Ourselves People
It was the kind of blind, gulping, insensate greed that you associate with some milk-eyed creature in a volcanic fissure at the bottom of the Marianas Trench-an organism with no understanding of the existence, let alone the feelings, of other members of the ecosystem.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ecosystems Greed Understanding
Never in my life did I think I would be congratulated by Mick Jagger for achieving anything.
BORIS JOHNSON

Achieve Congratulations Thinking
My ideal world is, we’re there, we’re in the EU, trying to make it better.
BORIS JOHNSON

Better Ideas Trying World
All the people I talk to, increasingly, can see that the emperor has got no clothes. The case for leaving [the EU] is now overwhelming.
BORIS JOHNSON

Clothes Leaving People

The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP, they have run out of better ideas.

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The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP, they have run out of better ideas.

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