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I want you to know that I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.

Boris Johnson

As a Scot Gordon Brown will find it hard to convince people in England he should be prime minister.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country England People Prime
You are part of our Great British family.
BORIS JOHNSON

British Country Family Great
It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving picaninnies; and one can imagine that Blair, twice victor abroad but enmired at home, is similarly seduced by foreign politeness.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cheer Fall Queens
I would ban sweets from school – but this pressure to bring in healthy food is too much.
BORIS JOHNSON

Healthy School Sweet
The Geiger-counter of Olympomania is going to go zoink off the scale.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Olympics People Scales
They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in Watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.
BORIS JOHNSON

Break Country Out Pangas Shortly Warriors
I have come to the conclusion that Tony Blair has finally gone mad … he made assertions that are so jaw-droppingly and breathtakingly at variance with reality that he surely needs professional psychiatric help.
BORIS JOHNSON

Mad Needs Reality
I don’t believe that economic equality is possible; indeed some measure of inequality is essential for the spirit of envy and keeping up with the Joneses that is, like greed, a valuable spur to economic activity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Believe Economy Equality Essential Myself Possible Value
I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.
BORIS JOHNSON

Betrayal Drugs Myself Sugar Thinking
All the people I talk to, increasingly, can see that the emperor has got no clothes. The case for leaving [the EU] is now overwhelming.
BORIS JOHNSON

Clothes Leaving People
The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition.
BORIS JOHNSON

Empty Surround Vast
Humanity would have plunged into a new dark age of absolutely frightening and appalling characteristics without Churchill.
BORIS JOHNSON

Age Character Darkness Humanity
You know, sometimes I don’t understand what’s wrong with us. This is just about the most creative and imaginative country on earth—and yet sometimes we just don’t seem to have the gumption to exploit our intellectual property.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Hands Jet/ Engines
The next Tory leader would have to unify his party and ensure that Britain stood tall in the world.
BORIS JOHNSON

Leadership Tall World
It hasn’t taken them long, they began by telling us they would have a positive and patriotic case and they’re back to project fear within minutes. There they go again they have nothing positive to say.
BORIS JOHNSON

Beginning Fear Positive Talk
When Cameron’s Conservatives come to power it will be a golden age for cyclists and an Elysium of cycle lanes, bike racks, and sharia law for bike thieves. And I hope that cycling in London will become almost Chinese in its ubiquity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cycling Law Ubiquity
Nothing excites compassion, in friend and foe alike, as much as the sight of you ker-splonked on the Tarmac with your propeller buried six feet under.
BORIS JOHNSON

Compassion Excitement Sight
He is like some sherry-crazed old dowager who has lost the family silver at roulette, and who now decides to double up by betting the house as well.
BORIS JOHNSON

Business Debt House
My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cake Eat Myself Policy
If we judged everybody by the stupid, unguarded things they blurt out to their nearest and dearest, then we wouldn’t ever get anywhere.
BORIS JOHNSON

Guard Judgment Stupidity
The meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservative Meat Sausage
I’m no communist. I’m a tax cutting Conservative. But I want a capitalism that is fairer to forgotten people.
BORIS JOHNSON

Communism Conservatism Forget People Tax
We celebrate the contribution of people who have come to this country to make it better.
BORIS JOHNSON

Celebrate Country People
I am supporting David Cameron purely out of cynical self-interest.
BORIS JOHNSON

Interest Myself Pure Support
He thinks of himself as a gigantic keystone in the arch, with all the lesser stones logically induced to support his position. He has a kind of semi-ideology to go with it – a leftish Toryism: imperialist, romantic, but on the side of the working man.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ideology Lesser Logically Position
He is the resounding human rebuttal to all Marxist historians who think history is the story of vast and impersonal economic forces. The point of the Churchill Factor is that one man can make all the difference.
BORIS JOHNSON

Difference History Human Man Oneself Thinking Vast
This is not a time to quail, it is not a crisis, nor should we see it as an excuse for wobbling or self-doubt. But it is a moment for hope.
BORIS JOHNSON

Crisis Hope Moments Time

I want you to know that I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.

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I want you to know that I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.

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Popular Authors

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