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I dont see why people are so snooty about Channel Five. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects

Boris Johnson

Can I say anything good about Ken Livingstone? A long time ago he did some good things, but I can’t now remember what any of them were.
BORIS JOHNSON

Anything Long Remember Say
It was the kind of blind, gulping, insensate greed that you associate with some milk-eyed creature in a volcanic fissure at the bottom of the Marianas Trench-an organism with no understanding of the existence, let alone the feelings, of other members of the ecosystem.
BORIS JOHNSON

Blind Creature Ecosystem Existence Kind Member
David Lloyd George had been to Germany, and been so dazzled by the Führer that he compared him to George Washington. Hitler was a ‘born leader’, declared the befuddled former British Prime Minister.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Hero War
In 1904, 20 per cent of journeys were made by bicycle in London. I want to see a figure like that again. If you can’t turn the clock back to 1904, what’s the point of being a Conservative?
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservatism Journey Time Transportation
It is possible to have a pretty good life and career being a leech and a parasite in the media world, gadding about from TV studio to TV studio, writing inconsequential pieces and having a good time.
BORIS JOHNSON

Good Life Media Writing
My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.
BORIS JOHNSON

Criticism Low Moments Skills Style Talk
My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.
BORIS JOHNSON

Mars Olive Pms Trees
It just happens I write fast and always have done.
BORIS JOHNSON

Done Happens Writing
I want you to know that I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.
BORIS JOHNSON

London Orlando Want
Since January 1993 there have been 27 other countries not in the EU that have done better than the UK at exporting goods into the single market.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Done January
Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix and stay conscious.
BORIS JOHNSON

Growth Looks Trying
This is not a time to quail, it is not a crisis, nor should we see it as an excuse for wobbling or self-doubt. But it is a moment for hope…
BORIS JOHNSON

Doubt Moments Self
I cant remember what my line on drugs is. Whats my line on drugs?
BORIS JOHNSON

Drug Lines Remember
Can I say anything good about Ken Livingstone? A long time ago he did some good things, but I can’t now remember what any of them were.
BORIS JOHNSON

Goodness Myself Remember Talk
If we judged everybody by the stupid, unguarded things they blurt out to their nearest and dearest, then we wouldn’t ever get anywhere.
BORIS JOHNSON

Guard Judgment Stupidity
They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in Watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.
BORIS JOHNSON

Break Country Out Pangas Shortly Warriors
I’d like thousands of schools as good as the one I went to, Eton.
BORIS JOHNSON

Education Goodness Myself
It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving picaninnies; and one can imagine that Blair, twice victor abroad but enmired at home, is similarly seduced by foreign politeness.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cheer Fall Queens
The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition.
BORIS JOHNSON

Empty Surround Vast
The mayors fund for London will be a streamlined vehicle for getting money from the wealth creating sector to communities across London that are facing hardship and deprivation and are the victims of crime.
BORIS JOHNSON

Community Creating Hardship
It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.
BORIS JOHNSON

Appearance Believe Flip Human Wall
The meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservatism Meat
I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.
BORIS JOHNSON

Betrayal Drugs Myself Sugar Thinking
But if people want to swim in the Thames, if they want to take their lives into their own hands, then they should be able to do so with all the freedom and exhilaration of our woad-painted ancestors.
BORIS JOHNSON

Hands People Swim
You are part of our Great British family.
BORIS JOHNSON

British Country Family Great
We did everything we could to break down barriers that restrain poorest.
BORIS JOHNSON

Barriers Break Breaking Down
He is like some sherry-crazed old dowager who has lost the family silver at roulette, and who now decides to double up by betting the house as well.
BORIS JOHNSON

Business Debt House

I dont see why people are so snooty about Channel Five. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects

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I dont see why people are so snooty about Channel Five. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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