“My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.”

Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix and stay conscious.

They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in Watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.

London is the sporting capital of the world. I say to the Chinese and I say to the world, ping pong is coming home.

There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge.

He thinks of himself as a gigantic keystone in the arch, with all the lesser stones logically induced to support his position. He has a kind of semi-ideology to go with it – a leftish Toryism: imperialist, romantic, but on the side of the working man.

Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.

I’m no communist.I’m a tax cutting Conservative. But I want a capitalism that is fairer to forgotten people.

It hasn’t taken them long, they began by telling us they would have a positive and patriotic case and they’re back to project fear within minutes. There they go again they have nothing positive to say.

The difference between Hitler’s speeches and Churchill’s speeches was that Hitler made you think he could do anything; Churchill made you think you could do anything.

You are part of our Great British family.

I have come to the conclusion that Tony Blair has finally gone mad … he made assertions that are so jaw-droppingly and breathtakingly at variance with reality that he surely needs professional psychiatric help.

My ideal world is, we’re there, we’re in the EU, trying to make it better.

The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP, they have run out of better ideas.

I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.

It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.

Humanity would have plunged into a new dark age of absolutely frightening and appalling characteristics without Churchill.

Celebration is life’s frosting: isn’t frosting the very best part of the cake?

Despite my inability to qualify to qualify in South Africa, I did really appreciate the support I got from the IOC particularly the Olympic Solidarity, members of the ICF, my own National Olympic Committee, friends and athletes from the Slalom Community.

He who has two cakes of bread, let him dispose of one of them for some flowers of the narcissus; for bread is the food of the body, and the narcissus is the food of the soul.

Rich people believe “You can have your cake and eat it too.” Middle-class people believe “Cake is too rich, so I’ll only have a little piece.” Poor people don’t believe they deserve cake, so they order a doughnut, focus on the hole, and wonder why they have “nothing.”

I like birthday cake. It’s so symbolic. It’s a tempting symbol to load with something more complicated than just ‘Happy birthday!’ because it’s this emblem of childhood and a happy day.

Your mind now, moldering like wedding-cake, heavy with useless experience, rich with suspicion, rumour, fantasy, crumbling to pieces under the knife-edge of mere fact. In the prime of your life.

I love cakes. Chocolate and coconut cakes. I love that combination!

When I go back in to re-record a line. I’m the icing on the cake, but the cake is the thing.