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This guy makes coffee nervous.

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If you ever had your moon salted you’d know how painful that could be.
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When’s the last time you went into a barber shop and saw everyone there unconsious?
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You’re 83? Really? You don’t look it. I would’ve guessed 81 or 82.
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There’s the downtown area of Tupelo. Did you see the skyscrapers? Two stories.
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Hawaii’s the 50th state? I thought it was a suburb of Guam.
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I’d love to be popular in Barcelona. That sounds like a fun job
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The two things that scare me most about wrestling fans is that they’re allowed to vote and allowed to reproduce.
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I know all about cheating. I’ve had six very successful marriages.
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There’s nothing better than a good, blind referee.
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I heard a rumor that your mom and dad ran away from home.
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They’re living proof that the 3 stooges had children.
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Koko B. Ware … his mom’s first name was Tupper.
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Janetty tried to dive through the window to escape, what an act of cowardice.
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Are there any swamps in Oklahoma? Yes, there is. It’s called Tulsa.
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The money’s the same, whether you earn it or scam it.
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[On Sting] He threw a sucker punch. There’s the sucker who threw the punch. Him the the Bart Simpson hair doo.
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