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I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.

Bob Saget

A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
BOB SAGET

Comedian Jokes Three
Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
BOB SAGET

Fool Men Wise
I have no agenda, nothing to control.
BOB SAGET

Agendas Control Nothing
I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
BOB SAGET

Case Feel Level Mother Something
Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
BOB SAGET

Fishes Nothing Pieces
The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
BOB SAGET

Kids Responsibility Wine
Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
BOB SAGET

Body Four People
I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.
BOB SAGET

Meaningful Myself Physical
25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Crowds Screaming Something Sort Years
I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
BOB SAGET

Doe Doors Nuts
Concerned we’re in a time where politicians can’t even fake sincerity. Aren’t they supposed to be good at that?
BOB SAGET

Fake Politics Sincerity
They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
BOB SAGET

Closer Enemies Say
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
BOB SAGET

Realizing Sometimes Wish
There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
BOB SAGET

Country People Two Wii
I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
BOB SAGET

Body Morning Red
It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
BOB SAGET

Long Okay People

I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.

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I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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