Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
BOB SAGETMy mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
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It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
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I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
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If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
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You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
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The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
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Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
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I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
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I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
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I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
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The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
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Concerned we’re in a time where politicians can’t even fake sincerity. Aren’t they supposed to be good at that?
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Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
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My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
BOB SAGET