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When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.

Bob Saget

25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Crowds Screaming Something Sort Years
If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
BOB SAGET

Change Something Things Wake
Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
BOB SAGET

Girl Met Reasonable Told
I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
BOB SAGET

Body Morning Red
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET

Attack Cauterize Done People
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
BOB SAGET

Dirty Jobs Night
The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
BOB SAGET

Hands Selfish Trying
Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
BOB SAGET

Body Four People
I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
BOB SAGET

Biker Club Kids School
Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGET

Except Nobody People
My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
BOB SAGET

Dad Escape Humor Kind Study Stuff
Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
BOB SAGET

Alcoholics Horrible Used
Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
BOB SAGET

Four Letters Matter
My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
BOB SAGET

Breakfast Causes Mom
A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
BOB SAGET

House Lasts People
My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
BOB SAGET

Fart Father Stuck

When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.

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When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.

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Popular Authors

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