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I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.

Bo Burnham

I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Fans People
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Guy Humor
How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
BO BURNHAM

Believe Cousin Gay
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Theory
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAM

Donkey Funny Giants Humor
I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Locks Safe
I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Grow Kids Song
All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Funny Humor
When life gets you down, make a comforter!
BO BURNHAM

Comforter Funny Humor
I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
BO BURNHAM

Love Perfect Trying You
Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
BO BURNHAM

Fake Kings Talent
Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Toes Women
The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
BO BURNHAM

Eras Golden Thinking
I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
BO BURNHAM

Designer Funny Humor Love You
I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It’s like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, ‘I think you try too hard in your comedy.’ And that’s what I worry about.
BO BURNHAM

People Thinking Worry

I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.

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I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.

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