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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.

Bo Burnham

I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
BO BURNHAM

College Dream Eight
Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Intelligent
I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor School
The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
BO BURNHAM

Anyone Otherwise Smooth Talker Tell
People do complain about the way I act on stage… They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
BO BURNHAM

People Self Thinking
I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
BO BURNHAM

Bears Beliefs Bipolar Mets
At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.
BO BURNHAM

Feelings Thinking Time Years
I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Comedy Watches
I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Locks Safe
I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Belief Funny Humor
When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
BO BURNHAM

Country Men People Theatre Thinking
Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Toes Women
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
BO BURNHAM

Country Feminist People Rights Thinking
Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot,
BO BURNHAM

Brain Challenges Emotional
I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
BO BURNHAM

Bullets Car Newspaper

I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.

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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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