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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.

Bo Burnham

Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
BO BURNHAM

Bible Jesus Kindness
People do complain about the way I act on stage… They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
BO BURNHAM

People Self Thinking
Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
BO BURNHAM

Isquaring Numbers Thirteen
Where are all the sour patch parents?
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Parent
I’m interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they’re scary, and they’re important to think about.
BO BURNHAM

Interested Real Scary Thinking
I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
BO BURNHAM

Character Doing Feel Main
I know it’s the comedian’s instinct to say, “Do it, man, nothing’s off-limits! It’s cool, bro!” I don’t know if that’s the answer for me.
BO BURNHAM

Fall Know Men Miscarriage
And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
BO BURNHAM

Balls Funny Humor Person Two
I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.
BO BURNHAM

Add Thinking Trying
I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
BO BURNHAM

Math Philosophy School
I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
BO BURNHAM

College Dream Eight
The classic comedian says there’s nothing that’s taboo; if you laugh at one thing you’ve got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.
BO BURNHAM

Dark Laughing Light
I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.
BO BURNHAM

Controversial Thinking Trying
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Guy Humor
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Theory
Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
BO BURNHAM

Best Laughter Medicine

I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.

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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.

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Popular Authors

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