I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
BO BURNHAMPoetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
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I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
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Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
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I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
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The classic comedian says there’s nothing that’s taboo; if you laugh at one thing you’ve got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.
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People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
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I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
BO BURNHAM