I’m bored way too easily. I’m staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?
BO BURNHAMPoetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
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I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
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How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
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When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
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People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
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I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It’s like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, ‘I think you try too hard in your comedy.’ And that’s what I worry about.
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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
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Love is all about… whistles.
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