I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
BO BURNHAMThere’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I know it’s the comedian’s instinct to say, “Do it, man, nothing’s off-limits! It’s cool, bro!” I don’t know if that’s the answer for me.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
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There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind.
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Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: ‘I’ll say anything, man!’. I’m not quite there yet.
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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You love the people that give you money and attention? Of course you do, that’s not selfless that you love your fans, that’s ridiculous.
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For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
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Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
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My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I’m going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas.
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I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.
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The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
BO BURNHAM