black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?

Bo Burnham

How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
BO BURNHAM

Believe Cousin Gay
Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Enjoy Fun
I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
BO BURNHAM

Cereal Men Remember Thinking
The classic comedian says there’s nothing that’s taboo; if you laugh at one thing you’ve got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.
BO BURNHAM

Dark Laughing Light
Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.
BO BURNHAM

Crystals Funny Humor
My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
BO BURNHAM

Camera Down And Firsts
If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
BO BURNHAM

Jesus Land Water
There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind.
BO BURNHAM

Certain Joke Lines Mind Poetry
I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Fans People
I just think they aren’t true. I’m saying that our generation wants stuff that is substantial and challenging, as well as thoughtful and endearing. Well, I don’t know if I’m doing that, but I’m trying.
BO BURNHAM

Endearing Generation Just Say Sustainable Trying
I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Locks Safe
I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
BO BURNHAM

Bullets Car Newspaper
Where are all the sour patch parents?
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Parent
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
BO BURNHAM

Average Person Tube
It’s not most important to communicate myself on stage as it is to be as funny or interesting as I possibly can on stage.
BO BURNHAM

Character Names Play
At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.
BO BURNHAM

Feelings Thinking Time Years

There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bo Burnham Quotes