black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.

Bo Burnham

All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Funny Humor
How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
BO BURNHAM

Believe Cousin Gay
Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
BO BURNHAM

Broke Celebrate Happy Thanksgiving
Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
BO BURNHAM

Isquaring Numbers Thirteen
I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
BO BURNHAM

Bullets Car Newspaper
I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.
BO BURNHAM

Controversial Thinking Trying
I’m interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they’re scary, and they’re important to think about.
BO BURNHAM

Interested Real Scary Thinking
You love the people that give you money and attention? Of course you do, that’s not selfless that you love your fans, that’s ridiculous.
BO BURNHAM

Attention Love Money Ridiculous Selfless
I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Girlfriend Uncle
For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
BO BURNHAM

Fifteen Funny Humor
I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Fans People
The biggest danger, for me, with making yourself your act is that a lot of people with think they know you for better or worse. That’s an ongoing struggle with me and it can get really trippy sometimes.
BO BURNHAM

Strong Struggle Thinking
My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I’m going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas.
BO BURNHAM

Faces Ideas Littles Persona
Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Intelligent
I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Gay Humor Jesus
They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
BO BURNHAM

Fame Idea Mind Special

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bo Burnham Quotes