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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.

Bo Burnham

I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Locks Safe
If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Facts People
Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
BO BURNHAM

Anything Book Good Pussy
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAM

Donkey Funny Giants Humor
In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
BO BURNHAM

Beautiful Distance Funny
I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
BO BURNHAM

Faces Something Stupid
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
BO BURNHAM

Average Person Tube
I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It’s like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, ‘I think you try too hard in your comedy.’ And that’s what I worry about.
BO BURNHAM

People Thinking Worry
I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Gay Humor Jesus
I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
BO BURNHAM

Love Perfect Trying You
Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Intelligent
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Theory
I just think they aren’t true. I’m saying that our generation wants stuff that is substantial and challenging, as well as thoughtful and endearing. Well, I don’t know if I’m doing that, but I’m trying.
BO BURNHAM

Endearing Generation Just Say Sustainable Trying
I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor School
Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Poverty Racism
I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Grow Kids Song

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.

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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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