When comedy is good, it’s jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It’s all melody to me.
BILLY CRYSTALI don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
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[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
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I never stopped believing in us and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be. I describe in the book [that] I don’t think I ever felt young again in that way.
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I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
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Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
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When we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, “Don’t feed them this; don’t feed them that, if she says this, don’t say that,” It was crazy!
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At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
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My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I’ve already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.
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I started examining history and then everything related to the theater. History, art, all the other studies, if I could link them into the theater, then it became alive for me. It just opened up my eyes.
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I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
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As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
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That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.
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I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
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What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
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