Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
BILLY CRYSTALNothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
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You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.
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When we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, “Don’t feed them this; don’t feed them that, if she says this, don’t say that,” It was crazy!
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It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
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I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
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I never stopped believing in us and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be. I describe in the book [that] I don’t think I ever felt young again in that way.
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I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
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I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
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What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
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[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
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Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead.
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Change is such hard work.
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I started examining history and then everything related to the theater. History, art, all the other studies, if I could link them into the theater, then it became alive for me. It just opened up my eyes.
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I was introducing [director and producer] Hal Roach – Mr. Roach was 100 years old, he was one of the fathers of early days in films, he put Laurel with Hardy, he created the Our Gang kids, and all these silent movies he did – he was a giant.
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