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I have 40-something intros [that Davis Jr. did]; all are different, none of them happened. And it was hilarious.

Billy Crystal

A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Couple Laughing People
Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Book Improvising Play School
The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Brother Inspiration Laughing
Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Clothes Differences Looks
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Inspirational Life Wise
I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Hands Sex Two
It is better to look good than to feel good.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Feel Good Looks
I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Country Free Life Sucker
I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Feet Thinking
There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Kids Nice Thinking
I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Being Black Comedy Old
I can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Feels Right Feet Humour
In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Football Games School
Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedy Kids Scary
I started examining history and then everything related to the theater. History, art, all the other studies, if I could link them into the theater, then it became alive for me. It just opened up my eyes.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Eyes History Open Related Started
I’d like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Happiest Heaven Life Thinking

I have 40-something intros [that Davis Jr. did]; all are different, none of them happened. And it was hilarious.

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I have 40-something intros [that Davis Jr. did]; all are different, none of them happened. And it was hilarious.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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