At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
BILLY CRYSTALI’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
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When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.
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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
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At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
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Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
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Don’t give up your power.
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Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
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There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
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Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don’t think you can make your kids’ dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.
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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
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I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
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When comedy is good, it’s jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It’s all melody to me.
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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
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When I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?
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I can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.
BILLY CRYSTAL