Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
BILLY CONNOLLYI hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Don’t buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They’re bastards, and they do it on purpose.
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I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
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Wisdom isn’t an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn’t an answer. It’s a question.
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Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
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I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
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I think of my life as a series of moments and I’ve found that the great moments often don’t have too much to them.
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I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it’s not all-consuming. But I do find myself drawing more and more these days.
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
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I’ve always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can’t tell to an audience.
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When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
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