People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
BILLY CONNOLLYPeople who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
BILLY CONNOLLYI once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can’t fly
BILLY CONNOLLYI’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
BILLY CONNOLLYI’ve always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can’t tell to an audience.
BILLY CONNOLLYI was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLYWho discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
BILLY CONNOLLYDid your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
BILLY CONNOLLYI don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
BILLY CONNOLLYThe human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’m a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world’s a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they’re delightful. They all want so little.
BILLY CONNOLLYdidn’t even know there were specialist zombie magazines and clubs. I heard the other day that a radio station had asked people if they`d made preparations for an attack by zombies, and a staggering number of people replied yes!
BILLY CONNOLLYFame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
BILLY CONNOLLYI set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce – my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions – the absurdity of the thing.
BILLY CONNOLLYLearn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
BILLY CONNOLLYA fart is just your arse applauding.
BILLY CONNOLLYPeople who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
BILLY CONNOLLY