For me, it’s about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
BILLY CONNOLLYI hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Don’t work out, work in.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
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People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here?
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Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
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Outgrew the media… The negativity felt like a disease.
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it’s easy – you simply look under the kilt, and if it’s a quarter-pounder, you know it’s a McDonald’s.
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I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
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Don’t vote, it only encourages them.
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When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
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Never trust people who’ve only got one book.
BILLY CONNOLLY