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Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.

Billy Connolly

I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Brought Catholic Guilt Level
I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Dog Doors Independent Stuff
Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, “Did you fall?” He said, “No, I’m tryin’ to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.”
BILLY CONNOLLY

Chocolate Fall Pocket
I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
BILLY CONNOLLY

About Always Children Comedy Country
I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Crosses Malfunction
I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
BILLY CONNOLLY

Consciously Home Intention Numbers People
I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Funny Humorous Witty
Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Expensive Looks Stolen
I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Clothing Hate Rain Sexy
Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Constitution Happiness Revolution Unique Written
I think age is terribly overrated. You’re okay as long as you don’t grow up. By all means grow old, but don’t mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Childlike Growing Mean Thinking
Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Jobs Jon Tell Workplace
There’s nothing like it, but it’s not as good as you think it’s going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club’s badge – but not a sausage.
BILLY CONNOLLY

People Records Thinking Years
There’s nothing better than a fight, especially when you’re watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he’s a big Jessie!
BILLY CONNOLLY

Encouragement Fighting Safe Watching
I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Found People Scared
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Seasons Travel Winter

Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.

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Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.

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Popular Authors

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