I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
BILLY CONNOLLYChic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, “Did you fall?” He said, “No, I’m tryin’ to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.”
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
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Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
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I loathe hecklers. I haven’t got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone.
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Sometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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I think of my life as a series of moments and I’ve found that the great moments often don’t have too much to them.
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I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
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A fart is just your arse applauding.
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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Behind the proscenium arch, you can’t always hear what people in the audience are saying.
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
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I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
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