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I’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!

Bill Watterson

So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
BILL WATTERSON

Esteem Expectations Secret Self
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
BILL WATTERSON

Long Memories Outside School Successful Term
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
BILL WATTERSON

Battle Disrespect Drama InterAction
Good friends are hard to come by… I need more money.
BILL WATTERSON

Good Friend More Money Needs
[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm found in New Guinea!
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Scrabble Vowels
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Future Humorous
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
BILL WATTERSON

Refuse Wonder World
The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Motivational Truth
You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulation Cynically Expect Manipulate Nothing Taught
If you can’t win by reason, go for volume.
BILL WATTERSON

Reason Volume Winning
Every time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it.
BILL WATTERSON

Built Character Regretted
One of the jokes I really like is that the fantasies are drawn more realistically than reality, since that says a lot about what’s going on in Calvin’s head.
BILL WATTERSON

Fantasies Head Realistically Since
My problem is that I don’t paint ambitiously. It’s all catch and release – just tiny fish that aren’t really worth the trouble to clean and cook.
BILL WATTERSON

Problem Tiny Trouble
I’ve got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it.
BILL WATTERSON

Common Ignore Plenty Sense
Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Other Real Zombie
Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?
BILL WATTERSON

Faces People Possums

I’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!

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I’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!

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