I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
BILL WATTERSONI’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
BILL WATTERSONAt school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you’ll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.
BILL WATTERSONCalvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!
BILL WATTERSONI suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.
BILL WATTERSONThe truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
BILL WATTERSONI liked things better when I didn’t understand them.
BILL WATTERSONIf people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.
BILL WATTERSONThey say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.
BILL WATTERSONHappiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
BILL WATTERSONIf you’ve ever compared a film to a novel it’s based on, you know the novel gets bludgeoned. It’s inevitable, because different media have different strengths and needs, and when you make a movie, the movie’s needs get served.
BILL WATTERSONA box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.
BILL WATTERSONAs you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.
BILL WATTERSONI let my mind wander and it didn’t come back.
BILL WATTERSONMy problem is that I don’t paint ambitiously. It’s all catch and release – just tiny fish that aren’t really worth the trouble to clean and cook.
BILL WATTERSONCalvin: Isn’t it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it’s weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity.
BILL WATTERSONIt’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
BILL WATTERSON