“It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.”

That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.

History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

At that time, we turn around and say, yes, this is obviously where I was going all along. It’s a good idea to try to enjoy the scenery on the detours, because you’ll probably take a few.

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.

If people looked at the stars each night, they’d live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.

Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?

All the new media will inevitably change the look, function, and maybe even the purpose of comics, but comics are vibrant and versatile, so I think they’ll continue to find relevance one way or another. But they definitely won’t be the same as what I grew up with.

The strips I admire go farther than a gag a day, and take us into a special world.

There are no restrictions of taste, approach, or subject matter. The gatekeepers are gone, so the prospect for new and different voices is exciting. Or at least it will be if anyone reads them.

Sleepwalking?” “Nightmare?” “Homicidal psycho jungle cat!

Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet.

Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.