It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.
BILL WATTERSONI asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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Reality continues to ruin my life.
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I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.
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And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.
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I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.
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Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
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We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.
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I tell you all this because it’s worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success.
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History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
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If people looked at the stars each night, they’d live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.
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We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
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You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You’re ignorant, but at least you act on it.
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I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.
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Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
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Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
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Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON