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I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.

Bill Watterson

It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.
BILL WATTERSON

Lobotomy Needs Saws
Reality continues to ruin my life.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Life
I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.
BILL WATTERSON

Comic Existentialism Laughing Strips
And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.
BILL WATTERSON

Admission Anyone Exciting Gate More
I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.
BILL WATTERSON

Actually Artist Quality Smoke Tell
Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Mom Peas Plan Sorry
We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.
BILL WATTERSON

Decision Desire Motivational Ourselves Thinking
I tell you all this because it’s worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Ideas Recognizing Success Trying
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
If people looked at the stars each night, they’d live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.
BILL WATTERSON

Inspirational Nature Stars
We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Science
You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You’re ignorant, but at least you act on it.
BILL WATTERSON

Afford Ignorant Knowledge Least Paralyzing
I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.
BILL WATTERSON

Little Surreal Trying
Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
BILL WATTERSON

Country Kings Mom Nice People Think
Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
BILL WATTERSON

Disappointment Friendship Harder Swearing
Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON

Avenue Cynical Hollywood Poised Raised Scary

I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.

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I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.

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