Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.
BILL HICKSI’d…bet enthusiasm for ‘ethnic cleansing’ will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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How would you like to get inside that guy’s mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn’t he?
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Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.
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I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night.
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I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
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You ever seen somebody do that? I’ve seen someone do that. Let me tell you something – if you’re smoking out of a hole in your neck [mimics it again] I’d think about quitting. And that’s just me, ya know.
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People often ask me where I stand politically. It’s not that I disagree with Bush’s economic policy or his foreign policy, it’s that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
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I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
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Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.
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How are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we’re all one?
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I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don’t think a Marlboro Light’s gonna faze him that much.
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I’ll tell you how to solve this abortion thing…Those unwanted babies…? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
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Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
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I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
BILL HICKS