I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
BILL HICKSI’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing to their lights thinking I’d made it to another club.
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I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
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If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.
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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
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How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
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Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.
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We are losing the ‘War on Drugs,’ which means there’s a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
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Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?…No, it’s not…That’s called logic and it’ll help us all evolve.
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Rock stars against drugs–that’s what we want, isn’t it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We’re partying now!
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I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
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I wouldn’t give Satan a snowball’s chance in Hell against a woman’s ego.
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I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
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May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
BILL HICKS