I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.
BILL HICKSYou think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
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The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
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I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman…come in the guise of a comic…to heal perception by using…’jokes’.
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In Australia…they celebrate Easter the same…by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit…left chocolate eggs in the night
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I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
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To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
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Don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
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People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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No, I don’t do drugs anymore, either. But I’ll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I’ll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it’s not a very popular idea, you don’t hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth,
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You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: “Iraq: incredible weapons – incredible weapons.” How do you know that? “Uh, well… we looked at the receipts.”
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Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
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I’m just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, ‘What’s wrong?’ Nothing. ‘Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.’ Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
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I’ll tell you how to solve this abortion thing…Those unwanted babies…? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
BILL HICKS