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You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.

Bill Hicks

Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.
BILL HICKS

Law Made Natural
I’d…bet enthusiasm for ‘ethnic cleansing’ will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
BILL HICKS

Enthusiasm Party Rocks
I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us…to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.
BILL HICKS

Believe Self Voice
I saw…a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
BILL HICKS

Horrible Kids People Saws
Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America… you are free to do as we tell you… you are free to do as we tell you.
BILL HICKS

Back Country Free Government
I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
BILL HICKS

Future Historically People Several
Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!
BILL HICKS

Children Rocks Stars
I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary
The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.
BILL HICKS

Dream Jeans Three
Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.
BILL HICKS

Country Dad Hate Sometimes
But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It’s no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
BILL HICKS

Miracle Sex Wonderful
Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything’s failing? It’s because, um – they’re no longer relevant. We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
BILL HICKS

Church Ideas Revolutionary Thumbs
Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
BILL HICKS

Cigarette Smoke Eye Smoking
There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue – those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS – but they remain strangely silent.
BILL HICKS

Gun Issues Silent Views
If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.
BILL HICKS

Burning Drugs Political Thinking
Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that’s their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm… Sounds like… every commercial on television, doesn’t it?
BILL HICKS

Essentially Thinking Trying Two

You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.

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You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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