A Christian will say… “I believe God created me in one day” Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.
BILL HICKSI never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I’d say ‘Yeah? When?’
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.
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I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.
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Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
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I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman…come in the guise of a comic…to heal perception by using…’jokes’.
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I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
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Don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
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I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin’ [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] ‘good evening everybody, remember me, smoking’s bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww.
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I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
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In Australia…they celebrate Easter the same…by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit…left chocolate eggs in the night
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We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
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I’m sorry if any of you are Catholic. I’m not sorry if you’re offended, I’m actually just sorry by the fact that you’re Catholic.
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let’s put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
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Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
BILL HICKS