Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
BILL HICKSPeople in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
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I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
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Why is pot against the law? It wouldn’t be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can’t make a profit off it, would it?
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When you’re…stepping over a guy on the sidewalk…does it ever occur to you to think, ‘Wow. Maybe our system doesn’t work?’
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Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?…No, it’s not…That’s called logic and it’ll help us all evolve.
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Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.
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I don’t care if you’re obscene, filthy, horrendous — as long as you’re honest.
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I’m very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn’t possibly think of yourself… Good evening!
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Rock stars against drugs–that’s what we want, isn’t it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We’re partying now!
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
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I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
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They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.
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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let’s put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
BILL HICKS