Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?…No, it’s not…That’s called logic and it’ll help us all evolve.
BILL HICKSWhat did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn’t it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It’s gonna be worth it!.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
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The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they’ve never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people’s minds, exposing them to the light.
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I don’t do drugs anymore… than, say, the average touring funk band.
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let’s put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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You ever seen somebody do that? I’ve seen someone do that. Let me tell you something – if you’re smoking out of a hole in your neck [mimics it again] I’d think about quitting. And that’s just me, ya know.
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The CIA has a plot…they’ve used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem…is convincing Hussein…to fly to Dallas.
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I am a misanthropic humanist… Do I like people? They’re great, IN THEORY.
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I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
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And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, “This is my creation, perfect in every way… oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they’ll think I want them to smoke it… Now I have to create Republicans.”
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Rock stars against drugs–that’s what we want, isn’t it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We’re partying now!
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It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
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I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night.
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I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
BILL HICKS