It’s my object to be stared at like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick.
BILL HICKSWhat kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts…Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
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Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
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How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
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Marijuana grows naturally…Don’t you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don’t know, unnatural?
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People often ask me where I stand politically. It’s not that I disagree with Bush’s economic policy or his foreign policy, it’s that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
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You are the imagination of yourself.
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Rock stars against drugs–that’s what we want, isn’t it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We’re partying now!
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All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.
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When you’re…stepping over a guy on the sidewalk…does it ever occur to you to think, ‘Wow. Maybe our system doesn’t work?’
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Music is a great energizer. It’s a language everybody knows.
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I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.
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It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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A Christian will say… “I believe God created me in one day” Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.
BILL HICKS