To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
BILL HICKSI’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.
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The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
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What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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I can’t believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
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Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
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This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.
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If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour: don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.
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I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us…to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.
BILL HICKS -
At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.
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People often ask me where I stand politically. It’s not that I disagree with Bush’s economic policy or his foreign policy, it’s that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
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I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
BILL HICKS -
Humanity is just a virus with shoes.
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I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing to their lights thinking I’d made it to another club.
BILL HICKS -
What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!
BILL HICKS