I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
BILL HICKSI’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
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Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
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If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour: don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.
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The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.
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A Christian will say… “I believe God created me in one day” Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.
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I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
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I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I’m fascinated by it. I’m fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.
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The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.
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You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: “Iraq: incredible weapons – incredible weapons.” How do you know that? “Uh, well… we looked at the receipts.”
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Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
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They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
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At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.
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And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, “This is my creation, perfect in every way… oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they’ll think I want them to smoke it… Now I have to create Republicans.”
BILL HICKS