I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing to their lights thinking I’d made it to another club.
BILL HICKSWhen you’re…stepping over a guy on the sidewalk…does it ever occur to you to think, ‘Wow. Maybe our system doesn’t work?’
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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All day long you see those commercials: ‘Here’s Your Brain, Just Say No’…and the next commercial is: ‘This Bud’s For You.’
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I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
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Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
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As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
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Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.
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A Christian will say… “I believe God created me in one day” Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! … That’s the story of Jesus.
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I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.
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I’m tired of this back-slappin’ “isn’t humanity neat” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.
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The economy that’s fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government’s cracking down… on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.
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We are losing the ‘War on Drugs,’ which means there’s a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America… you are free to do as we tell you… you are free to do as we tell you.
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How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
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You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I’m not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, so maybe that’s the connection they’re trying to make.
BILL HICKS