If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.
BILL HICKSWhen you’re…stepping over a guy on the sidewalk…does it ever occur to you to think, ‘Wow. Maybe our system doesn’t work?’
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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You are the imagination of yourself.
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The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
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We are losing the ‘War on Drugs,’ which means there’s a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.
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I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
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How would you like to get inside that guy’s mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn’t he?
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! … That’s the story of Jesus.
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A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.
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I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.
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I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin’ [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] ‘good evening everybody, remember me, smoking’s bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww.
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I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin’ mouth.
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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
BILL HICKS







