I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it’s not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they’re Napoleon. That’s fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don’t share them like they’re the truth.
BILL HICKSI find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
-
-
How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
BILL HICKS -
People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn’t have, seeing as it’s being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
BILL HICKS -
Marijuana grows naturally…Don’t you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don’t know, unnatural?
BILL HICKS -
People always snap and think they’re Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?
BILL HICKS -
The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
BILL HICKS -
All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.
BILL HICKS -
You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
BILL HICKS -
A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.
BILL HICKS -
I saw…a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
BILL HICKS -
I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I’m fascinated by it. I’m fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.
BILL HICKS -
I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself – to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.
BILL HICKS -
Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
BILL HICKS -
Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that’s their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm… Sounds like… every commercial on television, doesn’t it?
BILL HICKS -
You are the imagination of yourself.
BILL HICKS -
I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
BILL HICKS