I’ve always been lucky enough to have great audiences. It has been quite a life.
BETTE MIDLERMen’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.
More Bette Midler Quotes
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It’s a different world now: Stars come and go quickly, and there are so many of them. I read a statistic that all the record companies combined used to put out around 3,000 albums in a year. Now they put out something like 30,000!
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The first time I saw a picture of [fabled actress] Ethel Barrymore – she was on Broadway and she was wearing pearls. I thought, “That’s who I should grow up to be.” It’s odd, because it was her physical image that I wanted;
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I had no idea of being a star, all I knew was that I wanted to be a great actress, I wanted to work as an actress. So I thought the way I would be a great actress was to sing and dance first.
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I’m so glad to be back in New York. Los Angeles can be so cold, so cruel after you’ve been-what’s the word?-oh yes: ‘fired.’
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A lot of people say that my life is wasted on me because I could be a bigger asshole than I am, but I’ve chosen not to be.
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My parents taught me: Do not rely on a man. Not rely on it that you get married and it pays for you. That’s what I figured. I have always paid my own bills.
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I wish America would spend even half as much time complaining about plastics in our oceans as we do about actresses’ plastic surgery.
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That’s our mission: to clean and green New York City – one block at a time.
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You have to think you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you’re not.
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I always look old when I work because I get so upset and tense that my face wrinkles up like a prune, I can’t stop it.
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[On Denmark:] … that little country of cottage cheese and courage.
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If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
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When I started in this [music] business, I had a dream, but it was amorphous, and I had no experience. I just had a fuzzy notion of what life would be like if I became what I pictured.
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I would much rather watch myself than listen to myself. The moving is second nature, but the listening… that’s the art.
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I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!
BETTE MIDLER







