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Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.

Bette Midler

Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.
BETTE MIDLER

Book Country Horse
I made a lot of people laugh, made a lot of people cry in a good way, brought a lot of joy to people, picked up a lot of garbage. And in all those years, I saw a lot. I went to foreign lands. I met interesting people. And I got it!
BETTE MIDLER

Garbage Good Lot People Saw Way
If only I’d known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been much easier.
BETTE MIDLER

Actresses Being Different Singers
GOD is watching us, from a Distance.
BETTE MIDLER

Distance God Watching
While I was growing up, I believed I could do anything I could think of. So the challenge was always to keep thinking – to get to where I wanted to be and then to think of somewhere else to go.
BETTE MIDLER

Else Growing Somewhere Thinking
You have to think you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you’re not.
BETTE MIDLER

Bread Sliced Thinking
I sold my soul to rock ‘n’ roll.
BETTE MIDLER

Rocks Roll Sold Soul
When I read that, I burst into tears. It was so generous and so basic. Not fluffy. I can’t understand why we scrimp on education and shortchange our kids. Why would the citizenry do that to the people who are going to inherit its republic?
BETTE MIDLER

Country Generous Kids Shortchange Understand
Unfortunately, every time there’s a budget crunch in New York, the Parks Department is usually the first to be cut. So they need all the help they can get.
BETTE MIDLER

Country Cutting Parks
Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.
BETTE MIDLER

Brain Fit Men
If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
BETTE MIDLER

Happy Picks Ukulele
I decided years ago not to read stories about myself anymore. Each one is a potential minefield: Whatever it says, you’re bound to take it the wrong way. Why do it if you know it’s going to make you miserable?
BETTE MIDLER

Stories Way Years
We are all part of the ecosystem.
BETTE MIDLER

All Ecosystems Parts
Do you want to live and work in a garbage dump? I don’t. That’s partly because I grew up in the most pristine environment possible – Hawaii, where it is sacrilege to leave your garbage on the ground.
BETTE MIDLER

Dump Garbage Possible Wanted
When the movies first started, audiences were dumbstruck to see actresses walking around in evening gowns. They’d never seen anything like that. They wanted to be like those actors and actresses, so the movies informed their behavior.
BETTE MIDLER

Drinking People Smoking
Most people don’t deserve to be spoken of in the same breath as Chaplin or Lucille Ball.
BETTE MIDLER

Balls People

Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.

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Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.

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Popular Authors

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