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All these rumors about [Tom Cruise] being gay. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it for one minute. He hasn’t been to one of my shows.

Bette Midler

I’m working my way toward divinity.
BETTE MIDLER

Divinity Quality Way
I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.
BETTE MIDLER

Drinking Drunk Perspective
If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
BETTE MIDLER

Happy Picks Ukulele
I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.
BETTE MIDLER

Funny Humorous Memorable
Even if the whole human race dies off because we keep fighting and killing each other and being heartless, the planet will take care of itself. Eventually, after millions of years.
BETTE MIDLER

Fighting Race Years
Enough about me. What do you think about me?
BETTE MIDLER

About Enough Thinking
I decided years ago not to read stories about myself anymore. Each one is a potential minefield: Whatever it says, you’re bound to take it the wrong way. Why do it if you know it’s going to make you miserable?
BETTE MIDLER

Stories Way Years
I’ve always said that people have unrealistic expectations.
BETTE MIDLER

Expectations People Unrealistic
When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London.
BETTE MIDLER

Humorous Inspirational New York
If only I’d known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been much easier.
BETTE MIDLER

Actresses Being Different Singers
Me, I’m just a hack. I’m just a schlep-per. I just do what I can do.
BETTE MIDLER

Hack Just
Previously, the jokes were more related to current issues, political. Today people make about each other either funny or about people like Kim Kardashian. It’s brutal. Everything is so much vielschmutziger.
BETTE MIDLER

Brutal People Previously Today
Sometimes my brain goes on CD shuffle. You know, you put a bunch of CD’s on and hit play and random things come out.
BETTE MIDLER

Brain Play Random
Most people are walking around the city like corpses; they aren’t alive enough to notice the trash. They come from other places and they see it as a big garbage dump.
BETTE MIDLER

Cities People Want
The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.
BETTE MIDLER

Birth Giving Virgins
There’s the media-driven universe, in which the public perceives you in a superficial way. Then there’s the universe that you actually inhabit, where you have to get up even if you didn’t sleep so well, and you feel like crap and your face is swollen.
BETTE MIDLER

Media Sleep Way

All these rumors about [Tom Cruise] being gay. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it for one minute. He hasn’t been to one of my shows.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

All these rumors about [Tom Cruise] being gay. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it for one minute. He hasn’t been to one of my shows.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bette Midler Quotes