I’m working my way toward divinity.
BETTE MIDLERAll these rumors about [Tom Cruise] being gay. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it for one minute. He hasn’t been to one of my shows.
More Bette Midler Quotes
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I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.
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If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
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I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.
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Even if the whole human race dies off because we keep fighting and killing each other and being heartless, the planet will take care of itself. Eventually, after millions of years.
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Enough about me. What do you think about me?
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I decided years ago not to read stories about myself anymore. Each one is a potential minefield: Whatever it says, you’re bound to take it the wrong way. Why do it if you know it’s going to make you miserable?
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I’ve always said that people have unrealistic expectations.
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When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London.
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If only I’d known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been much easier.
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Me, I’m just a hack. I’m just a schlep-per. I just do what I can do.
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Previously, the jokes were more related to current issues, political. Today people make about each other either funny or about people like Kim Kardashian. It’s brutal. Everything is so much vielschmutziger.
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Sometimes my brain goes on CD shuffle. You know, you put a bunch of CD’s on and hit play and random things come out.
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Most people are walking around the city like corpses; they aren’t alive enough to notice the trash. They come from other places and they see it as a big garbage dump.
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The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.
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There’s the media-driven universe, in which the public perceives you in a superficial way. Then there’s the universe that you actually inhabit, where you have to get up even if you didn’t sleep so well, and you feel like crap and your face is swollen.
BETTE MIDLER