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Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don’t start writing no letters. I’m just kidding. But am I lying?

Bernie Mac

I’ve been in training for stardom.
BERNIE MAC

Stardom Success Training
The Bernie Mac Show’ is my life. It’s the truth, and I’m not ashamed of a minute, an hour, or a second of my life.
BERNIE MAC

Hours Minutes
I’ve never been no superficial cat.
BERNIE MAC

Been Cat No Superficial
I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.
BERNIE MAC

Brother Cutting Hair Head Maintenance Myself
When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take ’em.
BERNIE MAC

Believe Children Inspirational
I’m not ashamed to tell the truth about what happened in my family. I think that’s what makes my comedy different.
BERNIE MAC

Comedy Different Happen Thinking
Why do people love Richard Pryor so much? ‘Cause he had problems.
BERNIE MAC

Causes People Problem
I came up in the community center. I used to be physical director of the South Central Community Center in Chicago on 83rd. It’s still there. It used to be around there when I was a kid.
BERNIE MAC

Center Community Director Kids
Fear is not one of my attributes.
BERNIE MAC

Attributes Fear One
Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.
BERNIE MAC

Car Unreal Want Wind
If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.
BERNIE MAC

Bigger Laughing Stories
I can act. I’ve been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don’t nobody owe you nothing. You’ve go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z; you don’t go from M to Z.
BERNIE MAC

Acting All Anything Long Pay
I think a lot of TV insults the audience.
BERNIE MAC

Insult Television Thinking
I’ve always been a reserved cat. When I play sports, there’s people used to get mad at me because I didn’t hang out and things like that. I’ve never been that kind of person. Nothing has changed in that regard. I’ve never been posse, and all that. I’m a quiet storm.
BERNIE MAC

Cat Hang Play Sports
I’m an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.
BERNIE MAC

Extraordinary Guy Jobs Ordinary
You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.
BERNIE MAC

Breakfast Food Night Nine

Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don’t start writing no letters. I’m just kidding. But am I lying?

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Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don’t start writing no letters. I’m just kidding. But am I lying?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bernie Mac Quotes