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I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson.

Bernie Mac

I want to play a villain – I can’t wait to play a villain.
BERNIE MAC

Play Waiting Want
I wasn’t disciplined at all. As good of an athlete as I was, I was not disciplined. Had I had the drive that I have in comedy, and acting, and writing, that’s why I knew it just wasn’t right for me.
BERNIE MAC

Acting Athlete Comedy Writing
I ain’t running for office. I ain’t running for nothing.
BERNIE MAC

Office Running
When you’re offstage, that’s the footprint. That’s the man God’s gonna judge.
BERNIE MAC

Footprint God Judging Men
I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, ‘I’m like you – I’m frustrated, I’m not an expert, I don’t have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I’m selfish too.’
BERNIE MAC

Directly Frustrated Manual Mistake Selfish
I’ve never been no superficial cat.
BERNIE MAC

Been Cat No Superficial
Black audiences are hard. They always think they’re better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.
BERNIE MAC

Black Littles Satisfy Thinking
I’m not ashamed to tell the truth about what happened in my family. I think that’s what makes my comedy different.
BERNIE MAC

Comedy Different Happen Thinking
I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.
BERNIE MAC

Brother Cutting Hair Head Maintenance Myself
You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.
BERNIE MAC

Breakfast Food Night Nine
If you mess something up, remember who got you there. Don’t be pointing fingers, even if finger-pointing is called for. Only one you got to blame is your own self.
BERNIE MAC

Blame Remember Self
Only way you can you get upset is when you expecting something.
BERNIE MAC

Expecting Something Upset Way
My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.
BERNIE MAC

Always Finish Grandmother
You have to meet all of the challenges, big and small. Because how you start is how you finish.
BERNIE MAC

Big Challenges Motivational
The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically scared of.
BERNIE MAC

Comedy Issue Matter Politically
I don’t care about how I look; I’m dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so – my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn’t care about being cool.
BERNIE MAC

Laughing Names People Training
I’m so black, I leave fingerprints on coal.
BERNIE MAC

Black Coal Fingerprints
I’m not a politician, I’m a comedian. I know my limitations.
BERNIE MAC

Comedian Knows Limitation Politician
America…Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch…My James Brown.
BERNIE MAC

Country Party Rap School Touch
I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.
BERNIE MAC

Black Country Scuba Used
It took me a long time to get to where I’m at, in my career and as a man. I was going through my trials and tribulations in life, and it gave me the strength to tackle things that have come my way.
BERNIE MAC

Careers Long Men Trial Tribulation
I want to do something that people can really say, ‘Hey, man, that was good, I’m proud of you, I’m proud of that.’ ‘Pride’ and ‘Transformers’ and things like that.
BERNIE MAC

Good Men People Pride Something
Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you’ve learned your lesson.
BERNIE MAC

Lesson Suffering Teacher
I’m an entertainer and I really enjoy entertaining. I think if you’re going to really be what you say you are, you have to really live it, work it, practice it, and think it.
BERNIE MAC

Enjoy Entertaining Practice Thinking
I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson.
BERNIE MAC

Around Shoes South Stupid Voice
That’s the whole key to anything: Don’t be afraid to fail. And is not afraid to fail.
BERNIE MAC

Afraid Anything Fail Failing Keys
I hate to compare anything, especially while I’m promoting. I feel that’s another disrespect, but ‘Ocean’s 13’ is the best movie I’ve ever done in my life. No question.
BERNIE MAC

Another Disrespect Feel Hate Ocean

I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson.

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I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson.

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Popular Authors

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