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I thought I couldn’t afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: ‘Oh well,’ and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

Benny Hill

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
BENNY HILL

Hilarious People Sarcastic
Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.
BENNY HILL

Breathe Hot Pants
That’s what show business is, sincere insincerity.
BENNY HILL

Insincerity Show Sincere
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
BENNY HILL

Leadership Play Sports
Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it weren’t for Christmas We’d all be Jewish.
BENNY HILL

Christmas Reality Rose
Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.
BENNY HILL

Funny Good Life Military
The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.
BENNY HILL

Airplane Cutting Funny
Do unto others, then run
BENNY HILL

Comedy Running Sassy
I thought I couldn’t afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: ‘Oh well,’ and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
BENNY HILL

Cigarette Day One Smoke Smoking
Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason… now I have a reason.
BENNY HILL

Drinking Mets Reason
Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand.
BENNY HILL

Funny Girl Hilarious
Live everyday as though it’s your last ’cause one day you’ll be right.
BENNY HILL

Everyday Lasts One Day
Did you ever notice that everyone in favour of birth control has already been born ?
BENNY HILL

Abstinence Birth Control Favour
Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy?
BENNY HILL

Happy Miserable One Very Woman
I’m not against half naked girls – not as often as I’d like to be.
BENNY HILL

Girl Naked Women

I thought I couldn’t afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: ‘Oh well,’ and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

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I thought I couldn’t afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: ‘Oh well,’ and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Benny Hill Quotes