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I’m not against half naked girls – not as often as I’d like to be.

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I thought I couldn’t afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: ‘Oh well,’ and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
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Did you ever notice that everyone in favour of birth control has already been born ?
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I’m not against half naked girls – not as often as I’d like to be.
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Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.
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Live everyday as though it’s your last ’cause one day you’ll be right.
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Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason… now I have a reason.
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Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
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Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy?
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Do unto others, then run
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Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.
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The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.
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Airplane Cutting Funny
Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it weren’t for Christmas We’d all be Jewish.
BENNY HILL

Christmas Reality Rose
That’s what show business is, sincere insincerity.
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Insincerity Show Sincere
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
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Hilarious People Sarcastic

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