Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
BENNETT CERFFame – anyone who says he doesn’t like it is crazy
More Bennett Cerf Quotes
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Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
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One of the troubles of the day, observes Mr. C.N. Peac, is that once we came upon the little red schoolhouse, whereas now we come upon the little-read school boy.
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There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
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Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
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Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
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Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
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Fame – anyone who says he doesn’t like it is crazy
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Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
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The Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
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The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.
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Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
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I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
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Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
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For me, a hearty “belly laugh” is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
BENNETT CERF