There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
BENNETT CERFIn a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.
More Bennett Cerf Quotes
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TV’s sameness has destroyed many things, such as the American urge toward independent thought.
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Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
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The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
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Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
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Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
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The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.
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Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
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The fact that we don’t read more books in America can be traced squarely to the fact that we have newspapers that are about a hundred times as big as the newspapers anywhere else.
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The Atomic Age is here to stay – but are we?
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I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
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Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
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Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
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There is a mass of people, we might as well admit, who if they weren’t watching television, would be doing absolutely nothing else.
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One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.
BENNETT CERF