There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he’s a college professor!
BENNETT CERFOne of the troubles of the day, observes Mr. C.N. Peac, is that once we came upon the little red schoolhouse, whereas now we come upon the little-read school boy.
More Bennett Cerf Quotes
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In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert’s writing was hazy, Ep’s statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.
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I don’t stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
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TV’s sameness has destroyed many things, such as the American urge toward independent thought.
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The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.
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I think it’s become fashionable for the snobbish egghead today to make fun of television. I’ve heard many people, boast, “I would never have a television set in my house,” well, these people are fools.
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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
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Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
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There is a mass of people, we might as well admit, who if they weren’t watching television, would be doing absolutely nothing else.
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Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.
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Fame – anyone who says he doesn’t like it is crazy
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Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
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One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.
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I think the right to read, is one of our inherent rights, and I think that people in America today are intelligent enough to decide for themselves what they want to read. Without being told, by self-appointed people, you must not read this, or you cannot read this.
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Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
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Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
BENNETT CERF