You think I look like a teletubby?
BEN ELTONAnd roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition – and I have never suffered from it.
BEN ELTON -
If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
BEN ELTON -
I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
BEN ELTON -
The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
BEN ELTON -
Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
BEN ELTON -
Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
BEN ELTON -
I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
BEN ELTON -
I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
BEN ELTON -
The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
BEN ELTON -
The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
BEN ELTON -
And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
BEN ELTON -
My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
BEN ELTON -
I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it’s a risk worth running.
BEN ELTON -
You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
BEN ELTON -
Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
BEN ELTON






