Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.
BEN ELTONAnd roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
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I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
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Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
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You think I look like a teletubby?
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No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
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My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I’ve made a great living doing the things I want to do.
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I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
BEN ELTON