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You think I look like a teletubby?

Ben Elton

People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
BEN ELTON

First Little People
I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume.
BEN ELTON

Exercise Hard Reason
Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
BEN ELTON

Blood Heart Men
If I did things for the money, I’d have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and ‘Police Academy 6,’ which I was asked to write.
BEN ELTON

Hot Police Writing
No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
BEN ELTON

Natural People Waiting
I don’t know what people who I’ve never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things – but I’m proud of the fact I’ve remained close to everyone I’ve ever worked with.
BEN ELTON

Nice People Thinking
The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
BEN ELTON

Hippie Self Thinking
I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
BEN ELTON

Half Mother Race
Beyond love, beyond unrequited love, perhaps even beyond any other passion known to humanity, deep, deep in the depths of the turgid, clinging, swamplike pit of despair that lies dormant within every soul, lurks JEALOUSY.
BEN ELTON

Jealous Love Lying Unrequited
My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
BEN ELTON

Advice Looks Novel
You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
BEN ELTON

Fund Lady Old Pension
I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition – and I have never suffered from it.
BEN ELTON

Ambition Thinking Trying
Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
BEN ELTON

Feelings Opposite Sympathy
You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
BEN ELTON

Dream Gears Wake Up
Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
BEN ELTON

Beens Comedy Instinct
I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
BEN ELTON

Being Love Lucky Writing

You think I look like a teletubby?

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You think I look like a teletubby?

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