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The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.

Angela Duckworth

During all my undergrad years and in high school, I was involved in tutoring and public service. At Harvard, I spent over 35 hours a week doing service. I was a Big Sister, I worked for the homeless, the elderly; it was the epicenter of my focus.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

College Country During High Involve Public School Service Titoting Undergrad Year
Grittier soldiers are more likely to complete their training, and grittier salespeople are more likely to keep their jobs. The more challenging the domain, the more grit seems to matter.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Complete Domain Gritter Job Keep Matter People Sales Soldier Training
Negative feelings are typical of learning, and you shouldn’t feel like you’re stupid when you’re frustrated doing something. You might say to yourself, ‘I can’t do this,’ but you should say, ‘That’s great.’ That means you really have the potential to learn something there.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Facial Feel Feeling Frustrate Learn Like Negative Something Stupid Typical
People who are really gritty – they’re still interested.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Gretty Interest People Realy Still
Psychologists call this the maturity principle. My own life experience fits this principle to a T.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Call Experience Life Maturity Own Principle Pschllogistic
Some of the things we do are great, but they often have these iterations that are not great. We screw up sometimes. We get rejected.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Great Iteration Often Rejected Screw Some Something Thing
I think the very idea of character, of developing not just grit, but empathy and curiosity, emotional intelligence.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

But Character Develop Emotion Empathy Idea Intelligence Think
I now have Grit Scale scores from thousands of American adults. My data provide a snapshot of grit across adulthood.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Adult Country Girl Scale Score Thousand
One thing that’s true of gritty people is they love what they do, and they keep loving what they do. So they’re not just in love for a day or a week.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Day Do Gritty Love Loving One People Think True Week
I stayed for lunch for extra tutoring, gave kids my cell phone, and was available. In my first year of teaching,
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Available Extra Kid Lunch Phone Stay Teaching Tutoring
Childhood is generally far too early to know what we want to be when we grow up.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Childhood Early Generally Grow Up Know Too
My dad was not super-intentional in his parenting. He was very self-absorbed. I won’t say mean or selfish per se, but very self-absorbed. I think he was just thinking out loud.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Absorbed Dad Intention Parenting Self Super
I know a lot of CEOs who are looking for three- to four-year varsity athletes – not necessarily because these people are going to be doing pushups or spiking volleyballs in the workplace, but because they’re looking for that continuity, that person who was gritty about something.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Athlete CEO Four Know Look People Pushup So Spiking Three Varsity Volleyball Year
Many, many individuals will report starting to form their lifelong interests around adolescence. Why that is, researchers don’t fully know. But if you can take a trip down memory lane and see what interested you, that’s at least a clue as to where your interest may begin to develop.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Adolescence Around Individual Interest Lifelong Many Report Start
One of the challenges of commencement speeches is that you have this older, wiser person who is accomplished talking to young, not-yet-so-wise, not-yet-accomplished adults or, in high school or middle school, even younger.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Accomplish Challenge Commencement Older One Person Speech Talk Wise Wiser Young
I believe kids should choose what they want to do, because it’s their life, but they have to choose something, and they can’t quit in the middle unless there’s a really good reason.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Believe Choose Do Kid Life Middle Quit Something To Unless Want

The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.

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The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.

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Popular Authors

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