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The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.

Angela Duckworth

Striving is exhausting. Sometimes I do say things like, ‘I wish I were not quite this driven to be excellent.’ It’s not a comfortable life. It’s not relaxed. I’m not relaxed as a person. I mean, I’m not unhappy. But… it’s the opposite of being comfortable.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Excellent Exhausting Life Quite Say Something Striving Thing Wish
I didn’t tell my kids, ‘You have to play viola, and you have to play piano.’ They chose these things on their own, and I don’t think we have to give kids every choice, but we do have to give them some choice because that autonomy is crucial for fostering passion.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Absorb Actual Complete Kid Piano Play Point Something Viola Well
You cannot will yourself to be interested in something you’re not interested in. But you can actively discover and deepen your interest.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Actively Deepen Discover Interest Interested Something Yourself
At various points, in big ways and small, we get knocked down. If we stay down, grit loses. If we get up, grit prevails.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Big Down Get Grit Knock Lose Point Prevail Various Way
Why do some people try, try again, and why do some people not? That’s what I’m after.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

After Again People Some Try
Most teachers, when surveyed, say that it is part of their job to help students develop things like grit. This is especially true at the elementary and middle school levels. They feel it’s part of their vocation to teach other things that are not formally academic content.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Develop Grit Job Most Say Student Survey Teacher Thing
Psychologists call this the maturity principle. My own life experience fits this principle to a T.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Call Experience Life Maturity Own Principle Pschllogistic
There are no shortcuts to true excellence.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Excellence No Shortcut True
Maybe. But the reality is that our early interests are fragile, vaguely defined, and in need of energetic, years-long cultivation and refinement.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Cultivation Define Early Energetic Interest Maybe Need Refinement Vaguely
I’m not a policy oriented person. I’m constrained to what I study. But educational policy has not yet taken adequate note of the whole child. Kids are not just their IQ or standardized test scores. It matters whether or not they show up, how hard they work.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Adequate Child Constrained Education Orientated Ote Person Policy Study Taken Whole
When I was 27 years old, I left a very demanding job in management consulting for a job that was even more demanding: teaching. I went to teach seventh graders math in the New York City public schools.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Consult Demand Demanding Even Job Management More Old Seven Teaching Twenty Year
One thing that’s true of gritty people is they love what they do, and they keep loving what they do. So they’re not just in love for a day or a week.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Day Do Gritty Love Loving One People Think True Week
Nobody gets to be good at something without effort, no matter what your aptitude is.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Aptitude Effort Get Good Matter Nobody Something
People who are really gritty – they’re still interested.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Gretty Interest People Realy Still
I would be surprised if my girls ended up as women without grit. I really would.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Ended Girl Really Surprise Women Would
There’s this really awesome theory of human motivation – that human beings all want three things. One is to be competent, one is to belong, and one is be free, as in to have choice: to not be told what to do but to choose what to do.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Awesome Being Competent Free Human Motivation Really Theory Thing Three Want

The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.

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The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.

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Popular Authors

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