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The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.

Angela Duckworth

People who are really gritty – they’re still interested.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Gretty Interest People Realy Still
To me, the most shocking thing about grit is how little we know, how little science knows, about building it.
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Building Girl Know Little Most Science Shock Thing
There are so many things that kids care about, where they excel, where they try hard, where they learn important life lessons, that are not picked up by test scores.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Care Excel Hard Important Kid Lesson Many Score Test Thing Try
When people tell me I can’t do something, I have a visceral reflex to say, ‘Yes, I can.’
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Can People Reflex Say Something Tell Visceral
My dad was not super-intentional in his parenting. He was very self-absorbed. I won’t say mean or selfish per se, but very self-absorbed. I think he was just thinking out loud.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Absorbed Dad Intention Parenting Self Super
I do think that whatever ambition I may have had natively was amplified by my father’s clear valuing of it. I knew that was what my dad really cared about.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

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It’s also stamina in your direction, stamina in your interests. If you are working on different things but all of them very hard, you’re not really going to get anywhere. You’ll never become an expert.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Anyone Different Expert Hard Interest Stamina Them Thing Work
I know a lot of CEOs who are looking for three- to four-year varsity athletes – not necessarily because these people are going to be doing pushups or spiking volleyballs in the workplace, but because they’re looking for that continuity, that person who was gritty about something.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Athlete CEO Four Know Look People Pushup So Spiking Three Varsity Volleyball Year
During all my undergrad years and in high school, I was involved in tutoring and public service. At Harvard, I spent over 35 hours a week doing service. I was a Big Sister, I worked for the homeless, the elderly; it was the epicenter of my focus.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

College Country During High Involve Public School Service Titoting Undergrad Year
The most important thing parents can do, although it’s not the only thing they should do, is model the behavior they want from their kids.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

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There’s this really awesome theory of human motivation – that human beings all want three things. One is to be competent, one is to belong, and one is be free, as in to have choice: to not be told what to do but to choose what to do.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Awesome Being Competent Free Human Motivation Really Theory Thing Three Want
Is it ‘a drag’ that passions don’t come to us all at once, as epiphanies, without the need to actively develop them?
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

All Come Country Develop Drag Need Actively Once Passion People Person
One of the challenges of commencement speeches is that you have this older, wiser person who is accomplished talking to young, not-yet-so-wise, not-yet-accomplished adults or, in high school or middle school, even younger.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Accomplish Challenge Commencement Older One Person Speech Talk Wise Wiser Young
I believe kids should choose what they want to do, because it’s their life, but they have to choose something, and they can’t quit in the middle unless there’s a really good reason.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Believe Choose Do Kid Life Middle Quit Something To Unless Want
I didn’t tell my kids, ‘You have to play viola, and you have to play piano.’ They chose these things on their own, and I don’t think we have to give kids every choice, but we do have to give them some choice because that autonomy is crucial for fostering passion.
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Most people who are really, enduringly interested in something eventually find that it’s important, too – and important to other people.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Important Interest Most Nduringly Other People Really Something

The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.

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The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.

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Popular Authors

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