Substituting nuance for novelty is what experts do, and that is why they are never bored.
ANGELA DUCKWORTHThe parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.
More Angela Duckworth Quotes
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We have found a direct correlation between grit and positive emotions, but the fact that I have no evidence that grit is bad for you doesn’t mean it’s not. It’s always a possibility that in the future researchers will discover a downside to grit.
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Being gritty doesn’t mean not showing pain or pretending everything is O.K. In fact, when you look at healthy and successful and giving people, they are extraordinarily meta-cognitive. They’re able to say things like, ‘Dude, I totally lost my temper this morning.’ That ability to reflect on yourself is signature to grit.
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Maybe. But the reality is that our early interests are fragile, vaguely defined, and in need of energetic, years-long cultivation and refinement.
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Longitudinal studies following thousands of people across time have shown that most people only begin to gravitate toward certain vocational interests, and away from others, around middle school.
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And I’ve discovered a strikingly consistent pattern: grit and age go hand in hand. Sixty-somethings tend to be grittier, on average, than fifty-somethings, who are in turn grittier than forty-somethings, and so on.
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One thing that’s true of gritty people is they love what they do, and they keep loving what they do. So they’re not just in love for a day or a week.
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I do think that whatever ambition I may have had natively was amplified by my father’s clear valuing of it. I knew that was what my dad really cared about.
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Really, what matters in the long run is sticking with things and working daily to get better at them.
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Grit, in a word, is stamina. But it’s not just stamina in your effort.
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I was a good novice teacher, but I did the things that were obvious.
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What we reliably find is that people’s perseverance scores are actually higher than their passion scores, and I think it really does get to the fact that working hard is hard, but maybe finding your passion is even more difficult.
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I think the very idea of character, of developing not just grit, but empathy and curiosity, emotional intelligence.
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To me, the most shocking thing about grit is how little we know, how little science knows, about building it.
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During all my undergrad years and in high school, I was involved in tutoring and public service. At Harvard, I spent over 35 hours a week doing service. I was a Big Sister, I worked for the homeless, the elderly; it was the epicenter of my focus.
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Is it ‘a drag’ that passions don’t come to us all at once, as epiphanies, without the need to actively develop them?
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It is important to realize that the process of ‘fostering’ a passion takes trial and error. It takes experience; you cannot do it all in your head. And it takes a long time.
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People who are really gritty – they’re still interested.
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It’s a very good thing to teach kids to finish what they started in the sense of fulfilling their commitments.
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Nobody gets to be good at something without effort, no matter what your aptitude is.
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You cannot will yourself to be interested in something you’re not interested in. But you can actively discover and deepen your interest.
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So when my daughter told me on the second track meet that she was done with it because she discovered she didn’t like competing, I made her finish the season.
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There’s this really awesome theory of human motivation – that human beings all want three things. One is to be competent, one is to belong, and one is be free, as in to have choice: to not be told what to do but to choose what to do.
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The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.
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I stayed for lunch for extra tutoring, gave kids my cell phone, and was available. In my first year of teaching,
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Grit and self-control are related, but they’re not the same thing.
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Very few people can keep going their whole life doing something and feel like it’s merely personally fascinating.
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